“KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF KOFF!” koffed Oother and Goron. They wer sufocating but all the time the evil face of the evil woman King of Red Lines was on the screens going “HEHEHEEHEHEHEH HEHEHEHEHEEH HEHEHEHEHE I LOVE WATCHING UR PAIN EHEHEHEHEHHEEH!!!!” The King of Red Lines/Mrs Spadang was so evil shge was making paralulls with the holocaust!
“Hang on” said Goron as Oother pulled out his gat and fire into the air. The gats did nothing!
Goron sat concentrating like a Buddist monk. “You know what, Oother?”
“KOFF KOFF KOFF!” replied Oother.
“I think we need some more… firepower!”
Goron opend his mouth and FUCKING BREATHED FIRE at the gas and the gas burst into fire and died.
“NOOOOOOOO! I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU CUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn……….” Sed thhe King of Red Lines as the monitor died.
“Goron!” Oother sed amazed. “How in tha monkey-fightin world did you do that?”
“Oh, just some shit I pickd up in the last year!” Goron said epicly.
“Dis sum repugnant shit!” Oother asked, looking up at the ceiling where some poor innocent Koffings from Pokemon wer chaind to the air vents.
“KOFFING” they sed as Oother shot the chanes freeing them.
“Be free Koffings! The world is your Cloyster!” shouted Oother after them. The two heroes then turnd to the room with the buttons in. They both climbed on the buttons, jumpd into the air… and did a ground pund!
Oother looked up through the window. The shield arund the Evil Boom Fortress of Oom. It sputtered and died. Just then AN ALARM!
“Alert! Alert! Imperial troops hav enterd the base! Repeet, imperial troops hav enterd the base!” said the alarm. “The prisoners hav been freed!”
“WE’VE DONE IT!” shouted Goron with happy.
But Oother knew HIS mishon was not nearly complet. As they walked throu the collapsing base they came across an obstacle. They ran down the stars and through the carbonnite room. But the Goon Headcorters WAS STILL FULL!
“…fuck” said Oother.
In the room Jabber was being slimy. The goons were laughing as usual. On the stage Richad Herring was doing his rootine.
“So theres an alarm. Spadang wants us to get out. But hay, your goons. If you obey him he probs will kill you anyway. Its like he enjoys killing you guys more than sex, its like a Goon Hunt”.
The goons all lolled.
“BOLLOCKS!” shouted Jabber in Huttese.
“Don’t you think it wud be good if it was lik Murder on teh Oreant Expess and we all stabbd Spadang at the same tim and blamed it on someone else?”
“BOLLOKCS!” shouted Jabber.
“Oh, a hackler” said Richad Herring. “Okay hackler, I’ve got one for you. You know why you shud stop?”
“No…” replied Jabber.
“BECAUSE IM HOLDING A THERMAL DETONATOR!!!!!”
“OMG!” shouted Jabber the Hutt as the goons all lold.
“Actully” said Richad Herring. “LOL JK, YOU ARE!”
“Bantha poodoo!” shouted Jabber as he blew up. The goons wer in histerics.
“Hey Jabber” said Richad Herring to the dying Hut. “When is a man not a man?”
“I don’t know” sed Jabber with his last breth.
“When he’s Richad HERRING!” and he pulled off his mask and he wasn’t a man he was A ZORA!
“BOB!” shouted Goron reconnising the fish head of his best friend! He waded through the roffling goons to the reunion.
“GORON!” shouted Bob. “Good to have us badk together. El Dood Brothers! ERGH!”
They did the fist tuch.
“Love the disguise bro!”
“Yeah” sed Bob. “It was either dat or Harry Gill, but that wud have been waste”.
JUST THEN THE ROOMS ROOF OPEND AND THREW IT FELL SOME ROBOTS. THEY WERE MORE ADVANCD THAN THE ONES IN HULL AND THEY WER EVIL. EVIL WAS IN THER FACES AND THER ARMS AND LEGS.
“THOU SHALT NOT ESCAPE OOTHER PENDRAGON!” THEY YELLERD. “YOU ARE A BIG WALKING GRAMMATICAL MISTAKE AND SO YOU SHALL BE CORRECTED!” THEY GOT OUT CHAINSAWS ATTACHD TO THEIR HANDS AND WALKD TOWARDS HIM!
Goron rolled into a Goron roll. Bob equipd his razor fins. Oother got out a bazooker. They aimd towards the robots but…
FROM THE SKY CAME MORE ROBOTS!
“Oh for fucks sake this is rediculous…” sed Oother braking character for a second.
But wait… the new robots wer FIGHTING the others! A battle of rovot lazers of epic proportens took place! They were on Oothers side! These good robots shouted out there names as they fout…
These robots were nice guys because unlike the fashist ones they had actually been given emotion! So they realised that ther were things more irmportant than spelling and so turnd agenst their fashist masters!
Oother knew he had to get out of here so he ran towards the prison part of the ship. Prisoners wer fleeing. He ran down the passage seeing the lite where he would leave the ship. BUT THEN!
“HEHEHEHEHEEH! EHEHEHEHEHEH! HEHEHEHEHE!”
A robot arm SMACKED him in teh face!
“FOOOOL!” shouted Mrs. Spadang, the King of Red Lines as he loumed over him in the giant robot from The Indredibles. “YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE THE KONG OF RED LINES SO EASILY! HEHEHEHEHEH!”
The robot picked Oother up and swung him like everywhere. Oother was angry.
“What tha FUCK do ya want from me, BITCH?” he spake. “It’s over, motherfucker! Ive lowered the sheld to your fuckbuddys ship! All with the help of yor ex!”
“HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHE!” she cackled as she crushed his luns. He choked. “THAT IDIDOT? HE COULDN’T DO ANYTHING! HE WAS EVEN SHIT IN BE- URRRGGHHHHH!!!!”
SUDDENLY THE ROBOT COLLASPED AS HER BODY FEL LIFLESS. THRU HER STOMACK WAS A ROCKY BLADE ATTACHED TO A GUYS ARM!
“Actually I thout I was pretty good at inpaling you!” quipped Goron, pulling his arm out!
“Ouch!” said Bob, appearing behind him. “Most peeple just get a divorce!”
Goron laughed. “I knew I shud have signed a preenop!”
“BACK IN THE GAME!” yeld Bob, hi-fiving him.
“Yeah, job done. The bitch is dead” laughed Goron quoting Daniel Craig.
“My brothers!” Oother said to them, getting up. “How can ah thank you two motherfuckers enough? I would be honerd for you two to join me to finish off Spadang and magick once and fo all?”
“Nah man, I still hav work to do here” sed Bob.
“I need to stick around and help free the pisoners!” Goron agreed.
“Farewell then!” Oother said. “It has been an honour. I’m not gonna lie, when I first saw you two motherfuckkers I thout you were two little pussies. But you turned out to be two trooly awesome warriers. I am glad you left the Allijance and fought for the side of good, and will always rember you as my brothers! Now peace out bitchez!”
As they shook hands and excanged manhugs Oother walked into the distance. He had to finish the mishon.
“Pretty cool guy” said Goron. He turned to Bob. “Glad you came back man. I was worried.”
“Me too bro. Without you im just a dymanic oono!”
“I love you dawg” Goron replied. “Now lets save the world so we can go on the pull!”
“Sounds good man. The York birds wont no what hit them!”
And so ended the Goron’s Quest!
Max Smith looked up and saw the shield around the Evil Doom Fortress of Doom go out, and a figar zoom through the sky out of the prison ship.